Monday, April 26, 2010
Back here once again..
Have been quite troubled recently.
Poly has started, and i dont really like it.
The modules are hell boring, not even a lil interesting for me. Lectures are tortures. I doesnt feel good.
Good thing my friends are there.
But somehow, i really feel like collapsing at times.
Idk why uh but i really feel that im not looking foward to anything.
Life just simply sucks for me.
Theres nothing for me to work hard towards.
Not love, not studies.
Looking at couples really makes me feel envy.
I want someone, who i can love, and love me too.
I want you. But its impossible bah.
Forget it.
Also, recently discussing about some laptop issues with my dad.
Should i mention what i have in mind to him? I really dont know.
I really feel like getting that Macbook cos i believe with something i really lilke, i will take care of it and i can use it for very long.
But its expensive. I know i shouldnt be burden-ing my dad with this. So i have actually something in mind, to make a pact with him.
The money would be a LOAN to me, i would work and pay him back after Poly.
Which also signify another important thing to me.
I finally get something using my own ability.
I dont wanna always depend on them, i wanna be independent.
But i know he wouldnt agree, although i really hope he would.
Hai, troublesome issues.
Really quite stress.
I really feel useless at times.
I really feel like giving up.
Giving up at this pathetic life i have.
I hate it.
In fact, i hate myself.
Dam, i really need some time-out.
