im Chenjun` :D

2010-04-26T23:17:00.003+08:00

Back here once again..
Have been quite troubled recently.
Poly has started, and i dont really like it.
The modules are hell boring, not even a lil interesting for me. Lectures are tortures. I doesnt feel good.
Good thing my friends are there.
But somehow, i really feel like collapsing at times.
Idk why uh but i really feel that im not looking foward to anything.
Life just simply sucks for me.
Theres nothing for me to work hard towards.
Not love, not studies.
Looking at couples really makes me feel envy.
I want someone, who i can love, and love me too.
I want you. But its impossible bah.
Forget it.
Also, recently discussing about some laptop issues with my dad.
Should i mention what i have in mind to him? I really dont know.
I really feel like getting that Macbook cos i believe with something i really lilke, i will take care of it and i can use it for very long.
But its expensive. I know i shouldnt be burden-ing my dad with this. So i have actually something in mind, to make a pact with him.
The money would be a LOAN to me, i would work and pay him back after Poly.
Which also signify another important thing to me.
I finally get something using my own ability.
I dont wanna always depend on them, i wanna be independent.
But i know he wouldnt agree, although i really hope he would.
Hai, troublesome issues.
Really quite stress.
I really feel useless at times.
I really feel like giving up.
Giving up at this pathetic life i have.
I hate it.
In fact, i hate myself.
Dam, i really need some time-out.

2010-03-16T12:04:00.002+08:00

Should i...?
I really dk.
Its seems im starting to let go?
But at times i still think of you.
How do you feel...?
I really wanna know...

2010-03-06T08:38:00.002+08:00

8.30 am in the morning (: . Miracle that im up so early.
Slept at 1+ and woke up at 6 + .
Watched movie till now. Yawn im dam free :D.
Just got back from telok blangah not long.
Which i must say was really enjoying for me (: .
Slack eat shit everyday ! LOLs.
Nobody to nag me.
Even have my uncle to fetch me for supper !
OMG I LOVE THE LIFE.
HAHAHAHA.
Teevees session everyday.
And Dramas session everynight.
Totally COOL !
But my life was upside down.
Awake in the night and alseep in the day.
CRAP ! HAHAs.
Currently using laptop..
Poly just sent a letter regarding the purchase of laptop.
OMG I WANNA GET A NEW 1.
But my dad asked me to used this NOOB LITTLE LAPPY OF MY SISTER.
2ND-Hand T_T.
But nvm, be glad that i have a laptop !
hahahas. Altho others get new 1 ): .
But nvm la ~ can use can le ^^ .

Nothing much to post actually.
So gotta run ! bye~

2010-02-27T00:48:00.002+08:00

Sick and tired of everything.
Everything just mean nothing to me after the day.
But i told myself i will change.
So i wont give up so easily.
I believe sooner or later i can forget you.
be it 4months, 8 months, 4 yrs or even 8 yrs.
I wont give up.
I just want school to start.
Rotting everyday/working is boring.
=_=.

2010-02-16T02:02:00.002+08:00

Reviving blog time ~
By the way,
Happy Chinese New Year to everybody ! :D
May you all receive as much ang pows a possible.
To enjoy my blessing, you need to contribute 20% of your angpows money to me !!
Pls pass it to me personally and your shall be bless for every year !!
LOL !!.

Yeah, being lame XD.
Nothing much happen recently, CNY was not as fun as i thought.
Last year was better.
For some reasons, this year CNY doesnt have the atmosphere i expected it to have.
Oh yah, Happy Valentines Day too !

Lets talk bout recent activity.
Reunion dinner.. Was actually suppose to be at a restaurant.
But due to the overwhelming number of customers.
We changed to a shop nearby, STEAMBOAT.
Ohmygawd, to me, its a new experience, but i dont really enjoy the meal. LOL !!
Day 1 of CNY, i didnt sleep the night before, and only fall alsp at 11am in the morning -__- . Then awhile ltr my aunt came.
Did the normal routine every year of giving the oranges and receiving ang pows.
As time went by, more of our relatives came.
Not much actually <: .
But did enjoy the crowd. :D .
Night time it was gambling time. LOLS.
But still.. was quite boring.. =_= .
End my first day by sleeping at 1am i guess -_-.
Day 2, woke up at 6am WTF !! Used the comp, have breakfast, and slept back at 10am.
Woke up at 5pm?? LOLs. Ate and my family went to the ang pow river. Didnt tag along as i find it tooooo BORING !!
Met up with Clar and had my *dinner*. Then slack at nearby void deck for awhile.
Home later at 12am and used comp since.
YAWNS, how boring can my CNY be?
Starting work at wednesday again, kinda happy i guess?
At least i got something to keep me occupied, keeping my mind off things.
Especially when the day is arriving.

2am liao ~! Think i better go bathe and get some sleep? Nobody knows what gonna happen tmr !! Bye !

2010-02-05T02:25:00.000+08:00

Working recently.
Only reached home at about 1am each day >.> .
Hope Ck and kapo will get gd news tmr.
Cheers !
Bye~ short post <:

2010-01-30T12:53:00.003+08:00

Yoohooo .
Currently waiting for my brunch.
LJS 3pc chicken meal :D.
Naughty me, not feeling well still eat fried food. hehehe.
Working in the night.. $$$ .
Yawns, feeling abit restless. SIANZXZXZ AH !
Today she replied me.
Kinda happy..
Altho its only 2 words.
Thanks girl <: .

2010-01-25T04:39:00.002+08:00

The saddest thing in this world, is to see the one you love, love someone else.

4.40am in the morning right now..
Just back from slacking with yufei and darryl.
Before that was at CHANGi airport for 4-5 hours?
Filled in application form for waiter job.
Then waited for ck to finish his work.
At there, i was thinking of everything.
How things ended up this way.
I guess, i have only myself to blame?
Yeah. Totally.
Sorry for ruining your mood.
Sorry for spoiling the party.
Sorry for even attending it.
Sorry for every single thing i did that day.
I guess i was really... really sick and tired of it.
I have to drink.
Drinking is good.
Its make me think less.
Although i was still in a sober state.
I cant actually WALK PROPERLY.
YES TAKE THAT I CANT WALK PROPERLY.
WTF. -_-.
How irritating was that RAWRRRRRRRR.
And yeah i did stupid things.
Sorry to you girl.
Really sorry.
I rmb felling into the sand >.> .
Retarded me LOLS!
Thanks harry for taking care of me when i cant even walk properly.
You too take care and rmb to visit the doc regarding your heart probleemmmm~

I know girl, i dont stand a chance anymore.
If this is so, i hope you can find someone else who will actually take care of you.
It really break my heart to see you drinking in the past and etc.
Pls girl.
I know you are stress.
Been there.
I understand the pain.
Just continue to mug for the few months ahead.
I believe the result will be sastifying for you.

Not feeling really well.. Well, how do i expect to be well after drinking and tonn-ing for 3 days?
Lungs sure BURST ah. LOLs.
Alright gotta get some sleep although im hungry ):
PS: I JUST ATE RICE AND TOMYAM.

2010-01-23T17:29:00.002+08:00

2nights of craziness.
Totally enjoyed myself.
But sorry to all for the problems/troubles i caused.
Last day was crappy !
Going to reach check out time then rain !! OMGWTFBBQQ !!
Stuck at the chalet for awhile before taking the shutter bus.
Ate at white sands mall and home sweet home.
Took a 15hour nap. WOOOO.
LOLs !!

Happy birthday girl.
I know im actl unwanted there.
But still you invited me.
Thanks.
Sorry for not attending.
Enjoy and have fun.

2010-01-15T05:47:00.002+08:00

Hi~ 5+ in the morning and im here posting, crazy fella <:
But my friend CLARANCE LONG JIAN AO is even more crazy.
working tmr and still online now. crazy ass !
Hey buddy, dont think too much kay? I know its hard and i've been thru it.
But everything gonna be over real soon.
Just bear with it.

Alright.. Hmm what to post?
Didnt update for quite some time..
Oh yeah !! The most popular thing recently is the release of the Os result.
It was sooo...
Ohk lets rewind...
Before taking the result..
Yixiang, Clarance and Kapo came over my house and stay over.
We decided to go to sch tgt the nxt day (: .
Yufei was also with us but he went home to rest.
So those fellas slept at 6+ ?
I couldnt sleep...
Maybe the nervousness got me.
Finally slept at 8...
Then my maid woke me up at 10... T_T.
2hr+ of sleep.. OH CRAP !!
Then i woke them up... We left my house around 11..
Went over to Clarance house for him to prepare and we went to Punggol Plaza to meet the rest.
When at PP, we heard some good news.
100% passes for ENGLISH.
This meant all qualified for POLY.
Happy news.
70% distinction for C.H.
Even more HAPPY.
Ah at there i was so high.
Was actl too nervous to eat but hearing the news... My appetite is back (: .
So celebrate dean's bday there too..
Bought a small cake for him (: .
The guys was busy spraying their hair at the toilet... LOL
So we went to school...
Me and ck went in str8,
while the rest sneak in while OM wasnt looking.
So we finally went up the HALL.
Then Zul came catching~
All DEAD. LOL
I left alone... BEI JU !!!
Aft awhile, the rest of my classmates came up...
So we start to gather...
Then i heard that those kana catch 1 quarreled with the teachers...
Ong told me to get down and calm them down.
Was worried and rush down, saw yixiang very hot.
Immediately go and catch him and calm him down.
Anyway the teachers are fucking unreasonable.
Yes i typed it.
You teachers are UNREASONABLE.
Ohkay don spoil mood <: .
So aft awhile i pulled them out and i went back in...
Aft knowing the statistisc i sent to them to inform them the gd news..
Top student was YEE ZHENG !
3 cheers (: .
Grats pal, your 4 years of hard work paid off !
But you still have to pierce.. LOL !!
Grats to yufei, melvin and wang leng too.
Securing top 2 (: ./
Sadly, 3rd position wasnt shown... Dissapointed >:
Ohkay so heres come the MOST NERVOUS PART.
Result was being issued to each and every one.
NABUIEYZXZXZ FUCKING SCARY.
Finally my turn, Ong told me i did quite good. Got 4 As,
Wa jitao happy !! Then i see my eng and science result... Wa cui ah !!
But nvm bah i somehow expected this coming.
Getting a B for english is sastifying enough.
Science i expected it due to my careless >: .
So whats my result???

Eng : B4
CL : A1
EMATHS : A1
C.H : A1
C.S : B3
D&T : A1

Those subj im confident in got an A, quite happy (: .
So aft everything is over, we went home ~
The rest went to Buangkok to chill while i slept at home ~.~
Piggy me.
And i realised ever since that day my biological clock got screwed.
Sleeping in the morning and waking up in the aftnn.
Damn !!

What a stupid act i did that morning.
Why did i even bother to send such a text?
LOL, Maybe it got into me.
Crazy fella.
However i really ...
Sighh.. Tired of this already.
Really hope...

Bye.

2010-01-07T02:37:00.002+08:00

Every night.. i get so lonely...
Im afraid of the loneliness.
Pls lemme find a job and tire myself out.
Having friends was the best thing that happen to me.
Many of them had accompany me throughout the lonely night.
Thanks.
But today, i only had myself.
Just few more days before result release.
X fingers and wait patiently..
Lets hope 1 year of hardwork paid off.

2009-12-30T01:06:00.000+08:00

Bacck from work ! Am hungry >:
Gotta cook myself some NOODLES.
(:
2010 is coming !
Lets welcome it with a wide smile :D
New year, new me (: .
Oh yea~ saw a quite nice looking girl at work today !
I keep looking at her and she keep smiling. LOL !!
How shy, LMAO !!
Hungry liao, byebye !!

2009-12-28T22:17:00.000+08:00

I wont let this affect me anymore.
I swear.
This kind of crap happening to me is kind norm.
Not gonna spend another 10months to make you forget him.
Although i know its worth.
But i wont.

Work tmr !! CRAP !!
Derived of sleep. DAMN ><
Gna fall on bed soon, RAWR~

2009-12-23T02:54:00.002+08:00

Eating my tang yuan while posting. ^^.
Quite full already but have to finish it..
10 balls to finish OMG. now left 3.. THANK GOD !!
2 now.. HAHA.

Still, im in a state of confusion.
I dont know what to do.
Should i or should i not?
I know i should but deep down i cant.
Damn !!

Btw, hope you are doing fine.
Guess you understand the reason for not contacting bah?
Idw to hurt you more. So its btr this way.
Sorry.

2 MORE TO GO. OMG BYEBYE

2009-12-22T02:56:00.001+08:00

Hah, such a fool.
2nd time.
But stl, thanks for the memories.

2009-12-17T14:02:00.002+08:00

Yawn.. Not feeling well >.>
But got work tmr -.-''
What to do what to do what to do.
Anyway, dyed my hair black >.>
Dam harmful to my hair sia.. 1 holidays dye 3 times.. shit=.=''
Gna go cut hair ltr on. i think o.o.
And meeting kevin at srgn plaza ltr on.
Purchasing shoes.
Nothing much, just that have been gambling for quite some time.
Lost 12 dollars to YX.
Nabey, alw lose to him nia.
IDK WHY ~!! Next time dont play with him le lah.. faggot.
K la, run road le. byebye (:

2009-12-14T22:45:00.001+08:00

Replay.

Just how much this word meant to me.

Its all happening again.

Im too tired.

Gave up.

2009-12-04T03:17:00.001+08:00

Im tired... Real tired.
I dont know what im doing now.
I thought i had made up my mind few days ago.
But...
Somebody tell me what to do.
I just...

2009-12-03T22:46:00.002+08:00

This post is dedicated to you.
Low Yong Quan.
My 4year buddy.

i Seriously do not know what are you thinking already kay?
We trt you as friend.
But it seems you are so paranoid.
You dont trust us much dont you?
You said we didnt bother to ask you out.
You know what?
We did.
But i think out of 10 times, there is 6 times that you said.
Your mom dont allow.
So sometimes we didnt called you out.
You said you can, if u quarrel with you mom.
Think again. Do you think we want you to quarrel with your mom?
We dont care? We do.
And.
When they meet out. Sometimes they doesnt call.
So why dont you try to contact us more? Im sure, if they are out.
You contact them, they would surely ask u out.
But no u didnt.
You said you didnt want to be like shuhao.
But are we even trting u as him?
No we didnt.
Honestly, you think we are OUTCASTING you.
But you are the one OUTCASTING yourself.
If we didnt ask u out, why dont you ask us out?
You cant expect us to initiate all the time right?
Ohkay you did asked me out for bball sessions every now and then.
But then i declined in the past, as my passion wasnt really there.
But after some time, i always play basketball with you when you asked. Didnt i?
Sometimes, we asked you out.
You would EMO cos of HER.
It really makes me feel uneasy you know.
To see you in such a state.
And whats more you dont even trust us much.
And i think i know why.
Its cos of HER again.
Cos of her, you start to lose trust in everything around you.
Including us, your pals.
You said we didnt help you when you are in trouble..
This one, i really bwg.
Your problems.
What?
Her again right?
We didnt help?
I dare to say we did.
And i can say MOST of us.
We tried to speak to you, advicing you.
But did u listen?
No u didnt.
You only ended up saying You tried but you cant.
Then u stop trying.
Ohkay, if you say u have NEW PROBLEMS.
Maybe recently.
But did u even reach out to us?
No u didnt again.
Im sure if you did.
Even if i dont, others would.
We all CARE bout you. But you dont believe us.
So how are we suppose to?
You are my 4yr friend.
I can honestly tell you.
Your temper isnt good.
I know u know it urself.
And i have told u.
But despite it, we still are your friend right?
Why dont you just give us a little of your trust?
Initiate a lil.
Im sure all will be good.
Right now, let me beg you.
Open your heart, give us your trust.
Stop enclosing yourself due to her.
Its not just her in your life.
You still have us.
Trust us.

Thats all i can say. But still, if you doubt us.
Talk to us, face to face.
Im sure everything will be fine.
I hope...